My Day In A Nutshell - Sweatpants Shaming

Welcome to all of my new subscribers!  So glad you have chosen to take a little time out of your week days to hang out with me!

For those of you who are following along with me, today's reading from The One Year Chronological Bible includes Zacchaeus the Tax Collector, The Triumphal Entry, and Jesus Clears the Temple.  As always, some of the links I provide are affiliate links and I do receive a small (a very very small but very very important) commission if you choose to purchase using my link and some of them are just plain old links to sites that I’m not at all affiliated with but share with you anyway because that is what we do here.  We share what we love and try to make life easier on each other.

If you are following along with me reading The Upper Room, today’s entry written by Marion Turnbull from Manchester, England touched on how God has given us the skills we need to do exactly what we were put on this earth to do well.  As always I am using my Good News Bible in the Good News Translation for this particular reading mainly because it is written in a verbiage that is very close to the way we speak today and just makes it easier to follow along.

AND if you are following along with me reading The Millionaires by Brad Meltzer we read chapter 8 today and Man oh MAN it is starting to get good isn’t it?!?  SPOILER ALERT… chapter 9 is super-duper (Is super-duper really hyphenated??? because Microsoft is forcing me to hyphenate it with their incessant squiggly colored lines underneath everything, but anyway…) short, so tomorrow’s reading will take no time at all.  Sometimes that is a bit of a blessing if for some reason you feel rushed or aren’t really enjoying a book and sometimes it’s like “Oh MAN!!!  I’m DYING to read more!  Hurry up and be tomorrow already!”  I’m not going to lie… I was tempted to just read it BUT I knew it would throw you guys off and I like to experience it at the same time you do.  Soooooo… I’m waiting… but it is KILLING me!  This book nails it on the entertaining factor for sure!

I want to know your thoughts on all of or any of these readings if you are reading along with me down in the comments below.  Even if it inspired you or sparked something in you that doesn’t really have anything to do with what we read I’d still like to know.  I tell you every time that happens to me and would love to hear how it happens to you also.

It is a beautiful day out today.  I was hoping to get in a few miles of walking in today, but ALAS… I am behind on my laundry and basically have a pair of dress pants clean (and who wants to wear dress pants when you work from home… um no thank you) so the actual working out part is probably going to have to wait because it does take a decent chunk of time to complete and I do have some place I need to be by a certain time and no I am not going to get up early to try to squeeze it all in because for me sleep is crucial to my well-being and you guys know I’m horrible at it anyway.  I will get back on track soon and I will still spend a little time outside to soak up some sun.  It’s extra windy today so at least I will be spared the part where I choke on my own hair while I’m walking.  You girls with long hair feel me on that right?  Anyway, it doesn’t mean I won’t workout today.  It just means it won’t be a 4 and a half mile walk.

Speaking of not having any clean clothes… I was forced to commit a major fashion faux pas today and pulled out a pair of Ohio State sweatpants that I’ve had since I was a kid and there isn’t even an Ohio State game today.  *shame*  *embarrassment*  There must be some kind of sporting activity today though right?  I mean with a school that big there has to be some type of girls table tennis match today or SOMETHING right???  Do they have a girls table tennis team?  Is table tennis played in the fall if there is???  I NEED TO KNOWWWWWWWW!!!!! 

So I tried the Yes to cucumbers soothing hypoallergenic facial towelettes today.

I have the 10 pack.

First they are much smaller than the Yes to Grapefruit but maybe it is because it is the travel pack.  I'm not sure.  They also are not textured towelettes like the Yes to grapefruit.  I have a lot to say about these.

First, a facial wipe is useless to me if you can not remove your eye makeup with it.  I mean maybe if I wanted to wipe off the sweat after a workout or something it would be fine but these are too expensive for that sort of thing.

Second, the scent is distracting.  At first it kind of smells like cucumber, but then it morphs into something else that is more like a floral and it isn't that it smells bad... it is just distracting fro the enjoyment of the cleansing process.

Third, these burn my skin somewhat.  So do the Yes to grapefruit, but I expect it from those.  These are supposed to be SOOTHING not BURNING.  It even says it on the package.

They clean ok I suppose, but you really still will need to wash your face after.  You can't just wipe and go like the package says and you will need to moisturize after if you did.

I also uploaded my latest empties video, so you can check that out.

I've also been having really bad reactions to gluten lately, so I am going to have to cut it out of my diet completely.  I have started really looking into gluten free foods on the market and have tried the Blue Diamond Nut-Thins which I will be talking about more in some videos.

I'm really enjoying them, but today I tried the Honey Mustard version and it is no bueno.  Actually the quality of the flavor is really good.  You can really taste the honey and then it morphs into a real yellow mustard flavor.  I just don't like honey mustard, so it just isn't the right flavor for me.  Plain mustard I'd be totally down with.  The Cheese and the Smokehouse and the Nut & Rice are good though especially with a nice Arla Dofino Chipotle Gouda cheese wedge.

That's enough for today.  Come back tomorrow for some more chat!

My Day In A Nutshell - Sunsets And Workouts and Sneezing Oh My!

So frozen was cute.  It isn't in my top 5 Disney movies list, but it was cute.  Olaf wasn't as endearing of a character as I wanted him to be but I kind of knew that already.  Can I say that as much as I dislike the Let It Go song Demi Lovato did not get enough props for her performance of it.  I like it better than Adina Menzel's version.

I wanted to show you our sunset from last night.  Of course the pictures don't do it justice.

A few days ago they were fiery reds and oranges and now they are intense pinks and purples and blues.

New video alert!  It's Friday so luckily I got some editing done today and my Weekly Favorites is up and running.

I'm the kind of person who is extremely picky about workouts and workout videos.  I was a dancer and there are just so many inefficient and awkward workout videos out there and I have found that I like to watch a video first and see if it meets my needs or not before I do it.  The best videos require you to watch them first anyway because the moves are at a level of difficulty that you need to familiarize yourself with them first in order to be able to complete them anyway.  So, in my continuous search for videos that have instructors that can keep a beat I found this one that is a bit of a flash to the past for me because it is 90's style cardio that anyone can do with minimal injury risks.  Bootcamp styles were very popular then just after kickboxing went out of style.  This one isn't really a bootcamp video at all, but it will still keep your heart rate up consistently if you challenge  yourself.  Give it a try if you are looking for something new and like to mix up your workouts.

Today's lessons from The One Year Chronological Bible were Jesus Teaches About Spiritual Blindness, The Shepherd and His Flock, Jesus Teaches About Divorce, Jesus Blesses the Little Children, and The Rich Young Man.  If you'd like to follow along with me or just read t\he Bible in the order we currently think it happened in you can as always use the link I've provided..  It's just so nice to have a few moments of quiet time to read it and think and be inspired no matter what you believe.

Insert the part where I ate a little bit of pizza for lunch and now my face is freaking out over it.  Skin reactions are so 

Anyway...

Today's Daily Devotional entry from The Upper Room was a story about offering acts of kindness to those you encounter throughout the day and as always I utilized my Good News Bible in the Good News Translation with it.

My book is starting to get good!  If you are new to my blog I am currently re-reading The Millionaires by Brad Meltzer.  If you aren't familiar with Brad Meltzer he was apparently the co-creator of the TV show Jack & Bobby which was on the WB back in the day.  I'm going to have to add that to my future viewing list.  I like to systematically experience everything a writer has to offer if possible.  That's just how I roll.

Insert the sneezing fit that comes along with the pizza I had for lunch.  (Have I mentioned it is almost 11:00pm?  reactions can pop p hours or days after.)

STILL NOT COOL! 

Anyway, that's all I have time for today.  I'll see you on the flipside!

My Day In A Nutshell - Peace for the Aging

Happy Thursday everyone!  It’s another fun filled day of sharing the things in my day that I love with you so that you can give them a try if you’d like and maybe you will love them too.

First up, today’s entry in The One Year Chronological Bible.  I have the New International Version.  Today’s topics were the part where Jesus Forgives an Adulterous Woman and Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind.  Whether you are Christian or not or believe in Jesus or not I really think that you can find a positive message that resonates within you and that will heal your soul in the readings no matter who you are or what religion you follow.  I find something every single time and most of the time it is a simple passage that isn’t even really part of the main message.  It’s usually just a sentence that makes me think or that reminds me of something I saw in the news or experienced recently or gives me guidance on how to handle certain situations going forward better than I have in the past.  Today it got me thinking about how if we changed the way we approach trying to make a point (particularly during our interactions with strangers online) we might be more efficient at teaching a better way to others and reduce the amount of bullying online.  While I do realize that there are some people whose whole point is to be mean to others online I really feel that it is an extremely small number of people and that most of us just don’t communicate well through writing or are misunderstood because intent and body language can’t always be expressed through writing.  I mean that is why we have emoticons in the first place isn’t it?  Because we realized we needed a way to express body language in our writing.  But even with emoticons people begin to assume malicious intent and the smiley face that you typed because you have really do have a nice happy smile on your face is interpreted to be a sarcastic nail meant to drive your point home.   It’s along the same lines as a person who is cheating always assuming and accusing their spouse who isn’t cheating of cheating because they know in their own heart the tactics they use to cheat and try to get away with it and the innocent actions of their spouse are then misinterpreted to be the same thing.  A poisoned heart will only see poison in others even when there is no poison to see.  It’s a learned paranoia based on one’s own evil actions.  Anyway, I realized in that moment of reading that we have gone from walking alongside a person gently nudging them in the right direction through wisdom and ACCEPTANCE and LOVE (the way we guide small children with kind words and through play) to trying to hammer our point home chest to chest, pointed finger to pointed finger through judgment and criticism and anger.  You’ll never convince someone to walk along with you in your beliefs by strong arming them into it.  It is only through friendship and respect that you will ever convince someone that your way is a better way.  You can only guide someone if you are willing to walk along with them rather than position yourself AT them.  It isn’t at all what today’s entry was specifically about, but just a single line reached me in the way I needed to be reached today and hopefully my sharing it here will have a positive impact on the world that I could never begin to predict.  Feel free to use the link I have provided to the book so you can follow along with the daily readings in The One Year Chronological Bible on the go if you’d like.

Next I read today’s entry from The Upper Room 

using my Good News Bible in the Good News Translation.  It was a story about a couple who sold off a large portion of their belongings and took the frightening journey of change and moved to a retirement center leaving their old way of life behind.  Again this got me thinking about things that weren’t necessarily intended.  I’ve worked in the past with many different programs that are designed to assist those that are aging through the transitions that often come as a part of aging.  Sometimes this can include not being able to fully care for oneself without assistance anymore and a loss of independence and even a loss of home and family.  The problem is that the people who create and work in these programs are still younger and have not gone through this situation yet and ultimately will never fully understand what it is like and will always be less efficient in their assistance because if it.  Most of these people who are trying to help are fully aware and sensitive to the fact that they can’t really fully understand though and there is a kindness and empathy and generosity there because of this awareness.  It got me wondering though how often do we really ask the people who are going through it about it and even if we did ask how many of them would feel comfortable being completely honest and even if they do feel completely honest discussing it do they even yet know what would help them or would have helped them through it anyhow and could someone younger even give that to them or can only someone who has already been through it provide any sort of real comfort or assistance?  And then I felt a moment of sadness for how discarded and disrespected and embarrassed and depressed and lonely and scared the last legs of life feels for some people.  When you think of all of the accomplishments someone might have achieved in their life boiling down to a bed in a shared room with a stranger who might or might not even recall their own name anymore and with nurses who are good people but too busy to do much more than pop in and out with medications and sponge bath and feeding schedules you can’t help but imagine that person who was once filled with so much life and who made such an impact lying there alone wondering what it was all even for and feeling all sorts of fear and despair.  I can only imagine though because I have not yet been through it and in order to spare me from a truth that might hurt me in some way my friends and family members who went through it and since have passed didn’t share with me what it is like any more than any of the other people I met through my work in these types of places did even when I asked how they were doing and if there was anything I could do for them or that they needed.  Maybe for some of them just the fact that I asked or in some cases needed to ask those questions felt shameful and embarrassing.    I won’t ever really know until I am in their shoes and every person is different anyhow.  All I can do is hope that they felt completely content and peaceful with their circumstances and that my encounters with them were an enjoyable bonus to their day.  It doesn’t stop me from wanting to figure out how we can do better and make the process and the situations better in the future though.  Anyway, like I said before… sometimes you should read things not for what is in them, but for what they inspire in you even if it doesn’t have anything to do with what was in there in the first place.  I have included links to the iPhone app and the iPad app if you are interested.

Then of course I read a chapter of the latest book I am reading strictly for fun.  It’s a book called The Millionaires by Brad Meltzer.  It is a book I have read before, but it has been long enough ago that it is almost like I am reading it for the first time.  All I will say today is this… has life ever gotten to the point where you were tempted to do something you knew was wrong because you couldn’t see a legitimate way out and had just enough rightful anger inside to begin to be able to justify it in your mind?  Get the book and come along on this journey with me.  

Then I had to get ready to film some videos and pulled out a sample bottle of the San Francisco Soap Company Milk Hydrating Lotion that I received from a stay at a Baymont Inn recently.  It smells a lot like a mildly sweet pressed powder candy like a Sweet Tart or something along those lines, but as do most hotel body lotions the scent only lasts on the skin for about 3 seconds.  

I filmed 3 videos, but due to an extended babysitting gig didn't get one edited or uploaded for today.  Bummer.  I did however spend time surfing and sledding down hills on boxes and painting handmade beads and making corndogs and hot chocolate.  I also watched Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge.  Not a bad way to spend a few hours of my day. 

Just before the babysitting gig I was sent a free Redbox movie rental and decided it is finally time for me to suck it up and see Frozen.  I always avoid things that become too popular and trendy,  I will get around to seeing them eventually and I do enjoy animated movies so I tend to choose them first.   It could be years before I bother to watch The Hunger Games or even the Twilight movies though.  Watching Frozen is what I will be doing tonight.  No promises that my ears won't be plugged when the Let It Go song comes on.  

My Day In A Nutshell - Catching Up

Last week was pretty stressful and my attention was completely focused on those issues, so we have some catching up to do.

The first thing are the rainbows that were sighted everywhere over the last two weeks.

My brother took this picture.  I thought it was the perfect example of the beauty of life fighting its way through the ugly parts.

We also watched Twitches.

and Halloweentown

and a few Halloween episodes of cartoons like Sophia the First and Jake and the Neverland Pirates over the week.

I also watched two episodes of the Flintstones:

The Golf Champion (because I couldn't remember where I left off) and

The Sweepstakes Ticket

I finished another book and uploaded a book review about it to YouTube today but you can also watch it here:

But aside from uploading the video I should back up now and start with my morning today so here it is:

I started my day by reading today’s entry in my The One Year Chronological Bible.  I happen to read the New International Version.  Today’s reading included the bits about The Coming of the Kingdom of God, The Parable of the Persistent Widow, and the part where Jesus Goes to the Feast of Tabernacles. 

The thing that I love about this bible is that it puts the stories of the bible in the order that we currently think they happened in.  I find this so helpful for so many reasons.  First, it makes it a much more cohesive story that I can follow and ultimately better understand.  Second, because it puts the stories in order by the date that they possibly happened it helps me put the stories into context.  Times were different then.  I think many people who struggle with the bible do so because it doesn’t always make sense when it is assumed into the context of today’s culture.  It seems overtly violent in some sections, and extremely misogynistic at times, and very materialistic at times, and so many other examples that just don’t click in our brains when we forget that it happened at the very beginning of the evolution of man and then the stories were passed down through the telephone game in many instances before the stories were put in written form and were then of course written into the context of that time period rather than the period when it is thought to have occurred and since then we have translated and translated and translated them time and time again trying to make them make sense for our current languages and culture.  Third, because today's “preachers” are really not much more than motivational speakers these days and the actual practice of teaching the bible has gone by the wayside.  So if you are like me you haven’t really had any solid biblical instruction since your childhood Sunday School lessons.  Church has become more of an hour spent pumping up your ego and children’s church more of an hour of babysitting designed to just keep children entertained and not breaking things.  So with all of this I find it so helpful being able to read the bible “in order” and am able to connect with it and understand it much better.  It puts the logic back into it in a way that my brain can better process and understand and I would highly recommend it.  Of course I have many different bibles and many different translations and I find value in every one of them, but I think having the stories told in order in bite sized chunks that can be read daily and finished over a year’s time makes it convenient for everyone from the beginner to the expert.  If you have been feeling disconnected from the bible or religion at all or just feel like you don't know the bible as well as you would like to then this might be just the thing you need to get yourself plugged back in.

Next I read my daily devotional from The Upper Room.  Today’s entry touched on the Friendship with God through Christ.  I use my Good News Bible in the Good News Translation for this because I find it to be my easy reading version of the bible that has been translated and simplified into a telling of the bible that most matches our current vernacular and just allows me to focus more on the point of the devotional itself and less on the effort to understand the meaning of the words and the sentence structure of the bible itself.

Then I read a chapter of the book I’m just reading for fun.  It’s a book called The Millionaires by Brad Meltzer.  I’ve actually read it before but am reading it again because I systematically read through my collection of books over and over and over again.  After all, the whole point of having books is not to just fill up space in a home, but to actually read them.  So imagine if you worked at a private bank that handles money for only the richest of clients who have to be invited to keep their money at the bank in the first place and you discover that there might be someone in the bank working an elaborate scheme stealing money.  Sounds like a pretty heart pounding position to be in doesn’t it?  If you answered yes to that question you might want to read this book.

  

  We also did some fun things like sliding down a hill on a cardboard box and might or might not have had some Halloween candy.  I'm pleading the fifth on that last one.

There is a lot more I could tell you about, but how much are you really going to read in one day anyway?  I'll save some for the next time.

How was your day?

My Day In A Nutshell - Ways To Manage Stress

My life is extremely stressful.  More stressful than most although still less stressful than for some people whose lives are plagued with extreme situations.  I am continually grateful that I don't fall into that category.  The problem is that most of the stress I deal with now is completely out of my control and I am extremely reliant on others in many ways and the future for me is one gigantic question mark.  This is a huge time of transition for me, but it is a necessary transition and every day I spend at least 16 hours or more fighting to carve out what it will look like.  

So anyway... the stress...

The problem is that my body can no longer handle stress.  Most of the time we are told that some life stress like the type that would be experienced at work or in a competitive situation is good for us.  The affects stress has on me though unfortunately mimics in many ways the same affects lengthy terminal illnesses have on others and no one so far seems to know why.  My body is breaking down and the symptoms have this domino effect that compile and continually worsen and it is this downward spiral that will have an unhappy ending if I don't turn it around.  I have had multiple doctors who had no interaction with each other tell me (some might say warn me is a better way to say it) that I have got to reduce the amount of stress I am under even though I never even discussed stress or my emotional status with them.  One completed exploratory surgery on me and had something to say about it after based on what she saw internally.  Another actually went as far as to "prescribe" it to me writing it down on her pad and underlining it over and over and over again.  To complicate things I suffer from food allergies and medicinal allergies, but the truth is that it is one of those "which came first the chicken or the egg" types of situations.  

I made a huge and frightening decision a handful of years ago based on how bad my health had gotten that I believe saved me, but at the same time was the catalyst for the uncertainty that my life is in today.  I spend a lot of time now just praying that the support I need will continue to come and that the obstacles I deal with are sorting themselves out with time and I just keep relying on my creativity and my intelligence and try to have faith in myself that I will come up with the right formula that will help it all work out.

In the meantime I am at the mercy of others and I spend most of my nighttime hours trying to manage the stress and anxiety that comes along with being in that type of a situation.     

I'm writing about this today because I know that there has to be at least one other person on the planet whose situation is like mine and I believe very strongly that most of the time the things that we do have the power to reach someone right at the exact moment when they need it the most.  I also believe that you should try and help others through whatever medium you have at your disposal.  There are a lot of ways that I wish I could help others but just don't have the means to do right now, but what I do have is the ability to write and share myself and my story and my truth and while I'm not the best writer on the planet I'm at least equipped with enough creativity and currently the electronic means and medium with which to reach out a hand in my own way.

So the positives are that even though I live with an extreme fear of not knowing what will happen to me tomorrow in more ways than one and I don't have a sense of security in any way I have a peacefulness in my soul that I didn't have before I took the leap.  I also have time to do the research that I need to in order to solve the medical problems for myself and maybe others that the medical industry doesn't yet know how to fix.  Even though it still progresses I have slowed the downward spiral that was my health dramatically and have learned so much and have faith that I will be able to figure it all out.  I also have an amazing relationship with my niece that I would not have had at all if I had stayed on the path I was on.  I would have only been able to see her every other week for an hour or two and I am thankful every day that I had the courage to make a change that allowed us to have time together (and have time with my family in general.)   I have also been able to help my family in other small ways by being available in last minute situations and to do things like be at a certain place at a certain time to manage things like deliveries and construction and keeping trespassers at bay and other situations that seem small but didn't really have a solution without me.  We can't get so caught up in the fear and the bad things that we don't see the good and we can't forget that sometimes things happen for a reason.

So how do I try to manage the stress and anxiety that I still do have?

Well, I talk about and share the different ways here often through my stories and links that I post so others can gain from the things I find helpful.  I turn to my spirituality.  I meditate.  I do things to distract myself like read or watch a program.  I do research.  I write.  I journal.  I use my creativity.  I focus on work.  I work on changing the things I CAN control.  I use music.  I exercise.  I learn.  I rely heavily on faith.  I try to attract positive energy into my life through the principles of the Law of Attraction.  I pray.  Sometimes I just submit to what I'm feeling and let it out through tears or anger and just allow myself to admit what is so that I can avoid paralysis and can take action when I come out the other side.  Sometimes I search for others who have overcome their own obstacles for inspiration.  Sometimes I spend time just visualizing my dream.  I spend a lot of time searching for mentors that I can learn from because we don't always have people around us who have the ability to teach us the skills we need for success.  I also try to share and help others in as many ways as I am able. I work and I work and I work.

I often wonder how other people are doing?  I mean how are they REALLY doing?  What issues are they having behind their perfect Facebook smiles?  How do they manage the obstacles they have encountered?  Could you imagine if we all were just honest about our life journeys and shared what worked and what didn't?  How would life for everyone improve if we all left our pride and our egos aside and just admitted to our vulnerabilities and our strengths and reached out to the world with these truths?

I might have to take some deep breaths throughout the remainder of my day to hold onto calm, but I have peace in my soul just from sharing and knowing that what I wrote today will help someone somewhere sometime even if only in some small way.

How do you manage life struggles?  Share your truth and help someone else along the way.

My Day In A Nutshell - New Recipe Alert

My day started with an undercover CIA style beauty project just after having the worst night of sleep I've had in a while which of course means I got up much later than I wanted to.  I may have to switch to a "chores in the middle of the night" routine.  I don't really want to film then, but when I get up late it makes me feel rushed even if I'm not and I generally am dragging myself up and that lack of energy is always obvious in my videos.  I could fake it but there are enough of those types of videos on YouTube already.  I'm determined to keep my channel true to who I am and if that means I have to wait for a sporadic good day to film then I will.  My YouTube friends understand.  

When I'm tired the first things that get scrapped are my makeup and hair routine.  As much as I love beauty stuff I need breaks from it.  I don't know how people do it 7 days per week.  Not doing it every day makes me enjoy it more on the days when I do.  

I might be a bit too comfortable in my own skin.

Anyway...

Last week I promised to show you which polishes I used for my manicure, so here they are.

I started with a single coat of  Avon Nail Experts Adhesive Base Coat (far left)

followed by two coats of Sally Hansen Diamond Strength No Chip Nail Color in the shade I Do (far right)

followed by a final coat of Sinful Colors Professional in the shade Mystery Moonshine.

So what do you do after you have had a night without sleep?

You come up with a new drink recipe of course!

First I should mention that I single cup brew my coffee old school style straight into the cup without the use of any electronic equipment, so if you'd like to learn how to do that then you will have to comment below to let me know.

Second I will mention that 2nd round coffee and tea is the second use of the grounds and tea leaves.  (Don't try and store them or save them.  We are talking within an hour or two of the first use here.)

Third, a shake is a packet of Equal and a splash is a splash of milk.

So the recipe for today I'm calling a 

Feeling Blue

Put a second round Bigelow Green Tea with Blueberry tea bag into your cup.

Single cup brew your second round Kroger Ground Select Blend Coffee over the top.

Allow your tea to steep just a few minutes in the coffee.

Add a shake and a splash.

Also, managed to squeeze in a viewing of Phineas and Ferb Night of the Living Pharmacists.  That cartoon will forever be one of the smartest cartoons on television.  

Go watch it... 

Seriously...

"Lots of me.  Lots of Me.  Lots of me."  

My Day In A Nutshell - Square Pumpkins and Green Tea

My day started with a lovely Rock & Republic (remember them?) eye shadow in the color Scorch which I of course forgot to bring with me so I could show you a picture and/or a swatch.

DOH!   

Anyway, I've been working on my perfect look for the month, so I should have it just the way I want it right in time for the month to be over because that's how I roll.  

I seriously cannot get enough sleep this week.  I'm trying to fight off some sort of mucus related infection-y sort of thing that just won't hit the road.  The jury is still out if it is diet related or not, but either way I'm sleeping much later than I normally do aside from the few hours in the early early morning that I've been waking up every day.  The upside is that I always sleep much better when I'm sick.  The downside is... well... that I'm sick and need more sleep and don't get nearly as much done.

One of the things I didn't get done... laundry.  The other... filming my weekly favorites

which is fine because I'm debating whether to keep doing those videos or not.  They don't get as many views (surprisingly) as some of my other videos so if I can come up with something people would enjoy more or just save myself the trouble all together I should.  If I were rich I would only do haul videos because they always get he most views but alas...

So anyway...

The next notable thing I did was watch 

Spookley the Square Pumpkin  (Here is the movie link, iPhone app link, iPad app link, book link, another book link option.)  

This is one to add to your collection because even though it isn't really a classic yet it will be for this generation.  The kids now are going to remember it as one of their all time favorites from when they were a kid and it does have a good message behind it (but you are going to have to watch/read it yourself to find out what it is.)

Since I've been sick and the weather is cooler I've been drinking a lot of hot tea lately.  Today it was Bigelow Green Tea with Mango, but I think my favorite that I've had is their Green Tea with Mint.  You can actually buy it by the case (which is 6 boxes worth) for just under $18 which is a good price if you really enjoy tea and drink it multiple times throughout the day or entertain on a regular basis.

I do have a new manicure to show you, but you are going to have to comment below if you want to know what I used.  

I like to call that audience participation.

And oh by the way, you should subscribe or follow by email so you don't miss anything.

Anyway, here is what it looks like.

Super fun for the month of October!

(If you can't tell those are orange, green, and purple foil bits.)

That's probably enough fun for one day.  I'll see you on the flip side!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Round 2

You might have noticed that I haven't talked about the 30 Day Challenge much lately.  That is because towards the end of the 30 days it should be much easier to stick to your actionable goal without much thought.  At this point it should fall within habit territory and the amount of will power it took at the beginning of the month to stick to your plan should not be necessary at the end of the month.  That being said, if you are still struggling with your first actionable goal, if it is not a habit yet then you either need to break it down into even smaller steps (you bit off more than you could chew) and just pick one of those steps (remember that your actionable goal should not require any additional steps to complete it successfully every time) OR you just need another 30 days to continue to make turn it into a habit which is fine.  Most habits do require 90 days or more to build and it is just fine to need more time.  It just means your goal for the next 30 days will be to keep on keepin' on with your first actionable goal.

If you fall into the category where you feel you are ready to take the next step then keep reading.

The first thing you need to do is pull out your original goals sheet.  This was mine.

Just a brief recap, we came up with 5 categories of our life that we would like to work on, we put them in order first by importance and then by the amount of effort required to change them from easiest to hardest.  We focused on the list by effort because in order to not quit you have to be able to make realistic changes successfully in order to stay focused (If you tackle unreachable goals first you set yourself up for failure and probably will not stay the course.), and also because sometimes the harder goals either rely on the easier goals be accomplished first to even be attainable or will fall in line on their own as the easier goals are reached.  Then we took our first and easiest category and broke it down in to 5 actionable steps that require no other steps in order to be accomplished and also put those in the order that makes the most sense.  (If you have to accomplish one in order to accomplish another then you can't put the first step last obviously.)

So, you should now be able to cross the first actionable step off your list.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Pat yourself on the back!

You now only have to keep living that step exactly the way you are right now and you will always be living one step that brings happiness and satisfaction into your life.  The old behaviors are gone and the new one is your new way of life.

It is time to begin Round 2 of the 30 Day Challenge!!!

Now, our next step is to take the second category in our list by effort and break it down into 5 actionable steps that require no other action in order to accomplish them. 

As you can see from my list my next category by effort is home, so I will now come up with a list of 5 actionable steps that have to do with what I consider to be an improvement of my home or my life at home.  I;m going to write them down with pen and paper because it has a bigger impact on your soul than typing ever will.  I encourage you to do the same.

My list example looks like this.

Now, since you have accomplished your first actionable step from your original list you can remove that item from the list, move the last 4 items up one line and then add your FIRST actionable step from this new list to the number 5 spot of your old list.  

My example now looks like this.

Now, your goal for the next 30 days is to successfully accomplish your first actionable step.  My example would be that I will be eating at least one serving of raw vegetables every day.

So you might be wondering why bother updating the entire list every single time if we are only going to be focusing on one actionable goal?  Well, first of all the action of writing your goals helps to solidify them in your soul as I stated before.  Second, by writing them down you actively put 5 goals into your consciousness and you may find that as you begin to feel better and successfully accomplish your actionable goal you might find that you are also subconsciously doing some of your other goals also.  For example, according to my example, last month I was supposed to drink one less can of soda per day.  What I found though was that because I had my health at the forefront of my mind I also was doing things like replacing bad food choices with good ones and many days ate raw vegetables just because I felt good about accomplishing the goal of not drinking as much pop and was spending energy focusing on my health.  Just having those extra goals in mind now could make accomplishing them in later months easier.  Having them happen now doesn't mean they won't still be 100% our focus later, but if you happen to do more positive things during your 30 Day Challenge unintentionally then so be it.  Like I've said before, sometimes just achieving one goal successfully changes our entire perspective and our environment so much that other goals just start to fall in line.  The more rounds of this 30 Day Challenge that you complete the more you will find this to be the case.

Are you ready to get started on another 30 days of success???

Consider today day 1.  Start right now.

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

MAKE IT COUNT!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 22 - Dealing With Parental Guilt

Today was one of those hard parenting days.  It wasn't overtly traumatic in any way, but if you are a sensitive person like myself you tend to package up guilt for no reason and carry it with you forever.  

Basically it was a situation where the munchkin got in an unusually excessive amount of trouble during the school day which included their first blatant expression of defiance towards a teacher following what has turned into more and more consecutive days of getting into some type of trouble and then was topped off by lying and saying they got a perfect behavior score for the day and trying to trick me into not checking.

Now, I have to be honest and say that after all my years of teaching and without actually knowing the teacher, but knowing the child very well my intuition is that the teacher has not successfully established themselves with the children as an authority figure and is struggling to control the classroom OR needs to better learn the children's personalities so they can do a better job of redirecting them or having a preemptive approach BEFORE the behaviors happen.  At some point they have to realize that if the same problem is happening over and over again that they are playing half of the role in that problem by expecting something different to magically happen especially when dealing with the youngest children.  For example, if you know that at the end of recess you have a child who is wound up and excited and tends to continue talking to their friends in line or who is typically so engrossed in what they do that they will not hear directives, then you can't keep expecting the child to suddenly change even though you continue to allow them to get in the back of the line where it is harder to hear you anyway.  Instead you bring that child to the front where they are directly supervised, where they are not distracted by other children, and where they can more clearly hear you and you stop the problem before it even starts.  Over time the child will then acclimate to how they are supposed to behave in line and you can start to allow them to mix back in with the other children because the proper behavior has been successfully established.

Anyway, it isn't all the teacher's fault.  The child does have to learn and since I'm not in a position to teach the teacher I can only be responsible for the child.

Enter the first time the munchkin has been in "big" trouble with me.  

Most serious issues on the table = 

1.  telling the teacher they weren't going to finish another assignment after the teacher asked them to do some task (essentially talking back and establishing control over the teacher which is another indicator that the teacher has not established themselves as a person to respect since this isn't at all typical behavior for the munchkin to this degree) and 

2.  trying to be deceptive so I would not find out they were in trouble during the school day. 

Enter the point where my stern teacher voice comes in and the fun after school stuff gets eliminated (no watching Hocus Pocus, no playing outside, no books or toys or sidewalk chalk) and writing the sentence "I will not talk back to my teacher or tell fibs." until the page is full or it is time to go home comes into play instead.  We also have to explain to Grandpa why his TV has to stay off and why the Munchkin is writing sentences.

Enter the point where it all clicks with the munchkin and the tears start to trickle while the sentences quietly start to be written.  

Now, you have to remember that this is the first time ever in her whole life that she has been in this kind of trouble with me.  She has of course been in trouble at home on a few occasions and has been redirected or verbally reprimanded by me, but never has had the scenario set up to make the point to her that this is a big deal and is much more severe than before.

So, the tears start to trickle because now for the very first time ever she is encountering the sense that she has maybe disappointed someone whose opinion of her matters to her and she is feeling the first trickles of the guilt and shame and regret that good children feel when they have made a bad choice and are learning from it.

It is an extremely positive sign because you can immediately see that she gets it and she has evolved a conscious and empathy and she has just learned that there are consequences more important than having to write sentences when you make bad choices.

Yay!  She is an amazing loving child!

Enter the parental guilt.

Man that lesson is so hard to watch evolve in a child and be a part of isn't it?

Now, of course once the sentences were written we talked about her choices and why listening and respecting teachers is so important and we re-affirmed that I love her more than anything in the whole wide world which elicited the biggest hug ever.

Enter more parental guilt mixed with exploding love.

These types of lessons are the hardest to teach aren't they?  It is always harder on a good child when they are disciplined than on a child (or adult) who is less empathetic or connected to others.  If you were one of those good kids who would rather die than disappoint someone who loved you then you know exactly what the munchkin processed and learned today AND you are probably now the adult who carries the guilt of having to teach that lesson with you until the end of time like I am.

MAN it's so hard! 

The good news is that because I am the type of adult who carries that sort of guilt just because of empathy let alone because of past mistakes around I understand how I got here and I can keep her from repeating this portion of the program.  Tomorrow when there is less emotion tied to the incident we can talk about it again in a much more relaxed way and re-affirm how much she is loved and how much better life is when you make the right choices, but that no matter what she is loved and what she did today does not make who she is tomorrow.  She will learn that she is not her mistakes so that she can let go of them as she learns.  

Yesterday we also discussed that mistakes are learning here on the blog.  We just discussed it in a  in a different capacity than today.  (Just when I think I might not have a topic to discuss for the day one I have thought about many times in the past presents itself perfectly and suddenly here we are.)

Really today's post though is for the parents who carry guilt over nothing.  It's one thing to feel guilty for abusive behavior or foul language or manipulation or neglect and those are issues that come with a type of guilt that has to be worked through and processed as well.  The guilt I'm talking about here is borderline pain and suffering that we feel just watching what we know is just the beginning of a lifetime of lessons your child will learn because life is hard and most of our biggest breakthroughs come out of our greatest suffering.

One of the many reasons I chose not to have children is because I already know that I am excessively sensitive to these types of things and watching the thing you love most in the world struggle through life lessons is just not something I can sign up for.  Some people handle it much better than others, but for me it falls under my" not at all good at" category.  Some of you feel these things as deeply as I do, but weren't as lucky to know it before you had children and are now struggling to know what to do with those feelings.

Believe me... I feel your pain... literally.

If you search parenting guilt topics you find all kinds of support for parents who used to beat their kids or neglected their kids or had some type of problem that affected their parenting like drugs and alcohol.  What you don't find is support or guidance for parents who are doing as good of a job as anyone could possibly do and still feel guilt for the times that they have to be the parent or for any of the times that their child suffers in any way just because life is sometimes hard.  There is support for all of the things we feel we did wrong, but there is no support for the people who are suffering even though they didn't do anything wrong.  It is one thing when you can understand that you are inherently judging yourself harshly for the past because that is something we could process through.  But what about those of us who are just carrying around pain because we can empathize completely with others and it just ends up looking like guilt because there really isn't any other box to categorize it into nice and neatly?  It doesn't fit into the "I leave my kids with a sitter because I have to work and provide for them" guilt box or the "I feel guilty because my child was born with a disability and I'm wondering if it is my fault" guilt box or the "I just lost my temper with my child for no reason" guilt box.  It doesn't fit anywhere.  It just is.  

I think that is the key to letting some of it go.  Knowing for sure that the pain you feel isn't from something you did wrong (because that is really what we are wondering isn't it?  "Why am I feeling this way if I didn't handle life wrong?  I must have done it wrong or else it wouldn't hurt.")  The pain is just empathy from that moment and once the moment is over it is ok to let it go.  If they aren't feeling it anymore you shouldn't be either.  

The definition of an empath is this

 "(chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual."

I'm prepared to argue that the word isn't just a concept written for entertainment purposes in science fiction novels.  I believe there are people who can relate to what another person is going through so deeply that it has a lasting affect or deeply impacts them in a permanent way and living a lifetime this way can almost lead to effects similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I also think that the better your memory is the harder it is to leave these empathetic memories behind.  Trying to process your own life issues and everyone else's too is a lot to handle.  

The only advice I can give you is this...

if you can at least be aware in the moment of your pain that you are in fact just in the moment and are feeling the echo of old suffering you are headed in the right direction.  It is ok to feel the pain, but just remind yourself that this is old pain and it is ok to let it go.  Feel it, have an awareness of it, allow it to subside, and then breathe it out and allow it to leave.  I think just feeling ok about letting it go is the most important part.  We almost sentence ourselves to continue carrying it don't we?  It's like "I don't know why I'm feeling it so I must have done something to deserve it so because I take my punishments seriously I should really roll around with it and make it count because I must have earned it."  Once you realize that it wasn't earned and is just a sort of residue that has attached itself to you then you will find it much easier to let go.

It will take a while to not constantly remember how I know the munchkin felt today as her awareness matured, but I am equipped to make sure she doesn't carry one little bad day with her for the rest of her life and I am able to allow myself not to carry it with me either.  Your example might be different than mine, but whatever it is, you don't have to carry it either.  Put it down.  Who cares if there isn't a box to put it into that fits perfectly.  Just put it down and walk forward and breathe in the air of a fresh new day.

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 21 - Perfectionism Can Be Paralyzing

Sorry to my loyal readers for the lack of posts at the end of last week.  I took a very needed mini vacation.  I would have prepared you for it ahead of time, but you really have to be careful about announcing to the world when you will be out of town.  There are crazies out there who might decide to take advantage of your absence or follow you to where you are going.  I decided to just not say anything and assumed that you are all evolved enough to forgive me once I explained myself when I returned.

Writing for me is a huge part of my spiritual journey in life.  Everyone has their own "thing" that helps them decompress, let off steam, get out the bad stuff and move on, or whatever else their "thing" might do to heal/help/express their soul.  I hated writing as a kid mainly because you were always told what you were supposed to write about.  Writing only works for me when I feel inspired.  The words just flow for me then.  I'm not a particularly great writer.  Sometimes I use punctuation and sometimes I just don't feel like it.  Sometimes I type or spell words wrong.  I excel at proofreading someone else's work, but am terrible at proofreading my own, so half of the time I don't even bother much more than a quick skim just to catch the obvious errors.  

I've always felt it was a good idea to keep a journal but typically only wrote in mine when life had reached such a boiling point that I had to get all the negative out in one big negative word vomit in order to free myself of it and get on with things.  I found it hard to journal other times because if it wasn't a particularly eventful day there really just wasn't anything I felt like writing down.  Then other times when I would have these positive bursts of inspiration it didn't make any sense to write them in my journal because to me it feels more like "God's message" coming through me and is completely wasted in a journal that even I might never read.  I think a lot of bloggers or authors who write daily devotional type books probably feel similar to myself.  I write here because even if only one other person on the planet ever stumbles across it, I find that it is always the exact person who needed to hear exactly what I wrote at that exact moment in their life.

This morning I was a bit conflicted about what to write because I was feeling very inspired to write about why I write which might inspire someone else to find their own outlet or form of self-expression, but I also have this topic that was on my mind last week that just kept pushing its way back into my consciousness over and over again this morning because it is a topic that really resonates with me and I think could help a lot of people.  Ultimately I decided to try and figure out a way to make them both work.  After all, they wouldn't both be in this complicated brain of mine at the same time if God didn't want me to cover both right?  So, this is my attempt to do that.

Last week I was listening to a podcast by Chalene Johnson that had to do with being an entrepreneur and was talking about how successful entrepreneurs fail over and over and over again before they hit on what works.  It is just a part of the process that they repeat time and time again as they create more and more successful ventures over time.  It's interesting to me because over the years I've found that when you are talking with other people and you say something like "that could be our billion dollar idea" or "your family should get together and start a business doing that" or whatever the statement in the moment might be the response always goes something like this "yes but then we would have to do such and such and you have to find someone who can do so and so and you have to figure out how and where to do whatever and whatever", etc. and before you know it they have laid out a million reasons why they will just continue to live right exactly where they already are in life even if they hate it because even in a conversation that really was just meant to be for fun they have already expressed that a fear of failure or challenges has them stuck.  

I've realized that I don't really know any truly successful entrepreneurs because entrepreneurs tend to spend their time with other entrepreneurs and worker bees tend to spend their time with other worker bees and if you were born into a worker bee environment it is extremely hard to break out of that environment and into the world of extremely successful people because you were never taught to be where they are.  It is even more hard to bring your worker bees along with you on the ride and even harder to keep them from trying to pull you back.  Their fear of trying something new often extends into a fear for you as you try something new.  In my search for successful entrepreneurial mentors I've had to resort to using the internet to try and find and absorb as much information and energy as these people have been willing to share publicly because I haven't been able to find them in my real world.  It really is an entirely different world that they live in with an entirely different language full of insider secrets that make them more successful that many times feels completely over my head because no one in my world talks about these things or has examples or stories to tell about these things because no one in my world has ever tried or probably would ever try to delve into them because the fear and sense of risk is too high.  Anyway, my search is what brought me to this podcast to begin with.  

In the podcast Chalene brought up a topic that I have thought about in so many different ways at so many different times and for so many different reasons over the years.  She presented it as part of the discussion that if you want to be successful at starting a business (or at just about anything in life) you have to get past your fears and just try things knowing that many of them will fail and that failure is just part of the process.  

She was talking about how so many of the smartest people on this planet are so stuck because they want to get it perfect.  Part of what she discussed and what I want to discuss right now is this...

Overly critical parents breed perfectionist children who evolve into adults who are paralyzed and trapped by their own fear of failing.  

How many of you can relate to any part of what I just said?  You have great ideas but are afraid to try them or anything else new whether it be a sport or what-have-you because failure is not an option.  You just stick to what you already know you are good at even if you hate it and that's it.  Or maybe you used to be that person who had to get everything right and always be right and always be in charge of everything and everything must be perfect and you were so overwhelmed and unhappy and had to swim around at rock bottom for years before you slowly started to fight your way out of it but the struggle is still real and still every part of every day for you.  Or maybe you have all of those super posed super perfect family photos on Facebook right now where you are wearing the right thing and your hair is perfect and even your children look perfect and you are at that perfect destination because you can afford it because you and your perfect spouse both have the perfect jobs and it all looks perfect except for the pain that we all can see in your eyes just above your perfect smile full of perfect teeth if we really stop to look because at any minute the house of cards could come crumbling down around you and you live every moment in fear of it.  Maybe you are married to that overtly critical person who demands perfection from your children and you because their parents demanded it from them and not getting things right immediately is not acceptable because it wasn't allowed when they were growing up either.  Maybe you are the critical parent who is catching yourself yelling at your child when they spilled the milk or when they throw the ball and it accidentally hits the car or they say "Hey Mom look!" and try to show you something they are trying to figure out and then something goes awry or makes a mess or whatever and you immediately yell and then suddenly their smile dies and their bright eyes glaze over with a dullness that is their pain and a bit of their soul suffering and the joy and excitement they just had about showing you something has instantly been converted to pain and failure and the understanding that you feel disappointment related to them.  Then over time you realize that when you say something to them like "come over here and try this" (whatever new thing "this" happens to be) that they don't want to and pretty much never want to anymore because now they are afraid to try something new because they have learned that if they do it wrong the first time there will be negative consequences and you don't even realize that you did that to them.

Now the idea here is not to make anyone feel like a failure or a horrible parent or to feel shame or guilt about what is already done because you can't go back in time and change it anyway.  The idea here is to just breed some awareness in you so you can catch yourself when your are doing it and choose to react differently next time.  OR if you happen to be the person frozen and trapped by fear of trying something new to realize how you became this way and that it is ok to let that fear of failing go.  It's ok to mess something new up a lot because each time you will learn a little more and a little more until you eventually get it right.

So there was my attempt at covering both topics in one post.  How did I do?  I'm not sure, but what I do know is even if it isn't perfect I at least tried it and trying isn't failing.  Trying and failing isn't failing either.  Not trying at all is failing so with that in mind I believe it was a success and if I ever decide to try it a second time I will be even better at it because I will have learned from this first time.