My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Round 2

You might have noticed that I haven't talked about the 30 Day Challenge much lately.  That is because towards the end of the 30 days it should be much easier to stick to your actionable goal without much thought.  At this point it should fall within habit territory and the amount of will power it took at the beginning of the month to stick to your plan should not be necessary at the end of the month.  That being said, if you are still struggling with your first actionable goal, if it is not a habit yet then you either need to break it down into even smaller steps (you bit off more than you could chew) and just pick one of those steps (remember that your actionable goal should not require any additional steps to complete it successfully every time) OR you just need another 30 days to continue to make turn it into a habit which is fine.  Most habits do require 90 days or more to build and it is just fine to need more time.  It just means your goal for the next 30 days will be to keep on keepin' on with your first actionable goal.

If you fall into the category where you feel you are ready to take the next step then keep reading.

The first thing you need to do is pull out your original goals sheet.  This was mine.

Just a brief recap, we came up with 5 categories of our life that we would like to work on, we put them in order first by importance and then by the amount of effort required to change them from easiest to hardest.  We focused on the list by effort because in order to not quit you have to be able to make realistic changes successfully in order to stay focused (If you tackle unreachable goals first you set yourself up for failure and probably will not stay the course.), and also because sometimes the harder goals either rely on the easier goals be accomplished first to even be attainable or will fall in line on their own as the easier goals are reached.  Then we took our first and easiest category and broke it down in to 5 actionable steps that require no other steps in order to be accomplished and also put those in the order that makes the most sense.  (If you have to accomplish one in order to accomplish another then you can't put the first step last obviously.)

So, you should now be able to cross the first actionable step off your list.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Pat yourself on the back!

You now only have to keep living that step exactly the way you are right now and you will always be living one step that brings happiness and satisfaction into your life.  The old behaviors are gone and the new one is your new way of life.

It is time to begin Round 2 of the 30 Day Challenge!!!

Now, our next step is to take the second category in our list by effort and break it down into 5 actionable steps that require no other action in order to accomplish them. 

As you can see from my list my next category by effort is home, so I will now come up with a list of 5 actionable steps that have to do with what I consider to be an improvement of my home or my life at home.  I;m going to write them down with pen and paper because it has a bigger impact on your soul than typing ever will.  I encourage you to do the same.

My list example looks like this.

Now, since you have accomplished your first actionable step from your original list you can remove that item from the list, move the last 4 items up one line and then add your FIRST actionable step from this new list to the number 5 spot of your old list.  

My example now looks like this.

Now, your goal for the next 30 days is to successfully accomplish your first actionable step.  My example would be that I will be eating at least one serving of raw vegetables every day.

So you might be wondering why bother updating the entire list every single time if we are only going to be focusing on one actionable goal?  Well, first of all the action of writing your goals helps to solidify them in your soul as I stated before.  Second, by writing them down you actively put 5 goals into your consciousness and you may find that as you begin to feel better and successfully accomplish your actionable goal you might find that you are also subconsciously doing some of your other goals also.  For example, according to my example, last month I was supposed to drink one less can of soda per day.  What I found though was that because I had my health at the forefront of my mind I also was doing things like replacing bad food choices with good ones and many days ate raw vegetables just because I felt good about accomplishing the goal of not drinking as much pop and was spending energy focusing on my health.  Just having those extra goals in mind now could make accomplishing them in later months easier.  Having them happen now doesn't mean they won't still be 100% our focus later, but if you happen to do more positive things during your 30 Day Challenge unintentionally then so be it.  Like I've said before, sometimes just achieving one goal successfully changes our entire perspective and our environment so much that other goals just start to fall in line.  The more rounds of this 30 Day Challenge that you complete the more you will find this to be the case.

Are you ready to get started on another 30 days of success???

Consider today day 1.  Start right now.

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

MAKE IT COUNT!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 22 - Dealing With Parental Guilt

Today was one of those hard parenting days.  It wasn't overtly traumatic in any way, but if you are a sensitive person like myself you tend to package up guilt for no reason and carry it with you forever.  

Basically it was a situation where the munchkin got in an unusually excessive amount of trouble during the school day which included their first blatant expression of defiance towards a teacher following what has turned into more and more consecutive days of getting into some type of trouble and then was topped off by lying and saying they got a perfect behavior score for the day and trying to trick me into not checking.

Now, I have to be honest and say that after all my years of teaching and without actually knowing the teacher, but knowing the child very well my intuition is that the teacher has not successfully established themselves with the children as an authority figure and is struggling to control the classroom OR needs to better learn the children's personalities so they can do a better job of redirecting them or having a preemptive approach BEFORE the behaviors happen.  At some point they have to realize that if the same problem is happening over and over again that they are playing half of the role in that problem by expecting something different to magically happen especially when dealing with the youngest children.  For example, if you know that at the end of recess you have a child who is wound up and excited and tends to continue talking to their friends in line or who is typically so engrossed in what they do that they will not hear directives, then you can't keep expecting the child to suddenly change even though you continue to allow them to get in the back of the line where it is harder to hear you anyway.  Instead you bring that child to the front where they are directly supervised, where they are not distracted by other children, and where they can more clearly hear you and you stop the problem before it even starts.  Over time the child will then acclimate to how they are supposed to behave in line and you can start to allow them to mix back in with the other children because the proper behavior has been successfully established.

Anyway, it isn't all the teacher's fault.  The child does have to learn and since I'm not in a position to teach the teacher I can only be responsible for the child.

Enter the first time the munchkin has been in "big" trouble with me.  

Most serious issues on the table = 

1.  telling the teacher they weren't going to finish another assignment after the teacher asked them to do some task (essentially talking back and establishing control over the teacher which is another indicator that the teacher has not established themselves as a person to respect since this isn't at all typical behavior for the munchkin to this degree) and 

2.  trying to be deceptive so I would not find out they were in trouble during the school day. 

Enter the point where my stern teacher voice comes in and the fun after school stuff gets eliminated (no watching Hocus Pocus, no playing outside, no books or toys or sidewalk chalk) and writing the sentence "I will not talk back to my teacher or tell fibs." until the page is full or it is time to go home comes into play instead.  We also have to explain to Grandpa why his TV has to stay off and why the Munchkin is writing sentences.

Enter the point where it all clicks with the munchkin and the tears start to trickle while the sentences quietly start to be written.  

Now, you have to remember that this is the first time ever in her whole life that she has been in this kind of trouble with me.  She has of course been in trouble at home on a few occasions and has been redirected or verbally reprimanded by me, but never has had the scenario set up to make the point to her that this is a big deal and is much more severe than before.

So, the tears start to trickle because now for the very first time ever she is encountering the sense that she has maybe disappointed someone whose opinion of her matters to her and she is feeling the first trickles of the guilt and shame and regret that good children feel when they have made a bad choice and are learning from it.

It is an extremely positive sign because you can immediately see that she gets it and she has evolved a conscious and empathy and she has just learned that there are consequences more important than having to write sentences when you make bad choices.

Yay!  She is an amazing loving child!

Enter the parental guilt.

Man that lesson is so hard to watch evolve in a child and be a part of isn't it?

Now, of course once the sentences were written we talked about her choices and why listening and respecting teachers is so important and we re-affirmed that I love her more than anything in the whole wide world which elicited the biggest hug ever.

Enter more parental guilt mixed with exploding love.

These types of lessons are the hardest to teach aren't they?  It is always harder on a good child when they are disciplined than on a child (or adult) who is less empathetic or connected to others.  If you were one of those good kids who would rather die than disappoint someone who loved you then you know exactly what the munchkin processed and learned today AND you are probably now the adult who carries the guilt of having to teach that lesson with you until the end of time like I am.

MAN it's so hard! 

The good news is that because I am the type of adult who carries that sort of guilt just because of empathy let alone because of past mistakes around I understand how I got here and I can keep her from repeating this portion of the program.  Tomorrow when there is less emotion tied to the incident we can talk about it again in a much more relaxed way and re-affirm how much she is loved and how much better life is when you make the right choices, but that no matter what she is loved and what she did today does not make who she is tomorrow.  She will learn that she is not her mistakes so that she can let go of them as she learns.  

Yesterday we also discussed that mistakes are learning here on the blog.  We just discussed it in a  in a different capacity than today.  (Just when I think I might not have a topic to discuss for the day one I have thought about many times in the past presents itself perfectly and suddenly here we are.)

Really today's post though is for the parents who carry guilt over nothing.  It's one thing to feel guilty for abusive behavior or foul language or manipulation or neglect and those are issues that come with a type of guilt that has to be worked through and processed as well.  The guilt I'm talking about here is borderline pain and suffering that we feel just watching what we know is just the beginning of a lifetime of lessons your child will learn because life is hard and most of our biggest breakthroughs come out of our greatest suffering.

One of the many reasons I chose not to have children is because I already know that I am excessively sensitive to these types of things and watching the thing you love most in the world struggle through life lessons is just not something I can sign up for.  Some people handle it much better than others, but for me it falls under my" not at all good at" category.  Some of you feel these things as deeply as I do, but weren't as lucky to know it before you had children and are now struggling to know what to do with those feelings.

Believe me... I feel your pain... literally.

If you search parenting guilt topics you find all kinds of support for parents who used to beat their kids or neglected their kids or had some type of problem that affected their parenting like drugs and alcohol.  What you don't find is support or guidance for parents who are doing as good of a job as anyone could possibly do and still feel guilt for the times that they have to be the parent or for any of the times that their child suffers in any way just because life is sometimes hard.  There is support for all of the things we feel we did wrong, but there is no support for the people who are suffering even though they didn't do anything wrong.  It is one thing when you can understand that you are inherently judging yourself harshly for the past because that is something we could process through.  But what about those of us who are just carrying around pain because we can empathize completely with others and it just ends up looking like guilt because there really isn't any other box to categorize it into nice and neatly?  It doesn't fit into the "I leave my kids with a sitter because I have to work and provide for them" guilt box or the "I feel guilty because my child was born with a disability and I'm wondering if it is my fault" guilt box or the "I just lost my temper with my child for no reason" guilt box.  It doesn't fit anywhere.  It just is.  

I think that is the key to letting some of it go.  Knowing for sure that the pain you feel isn't from something you did wrong (because that is really what we are wondering isn't it?  "Why am I feeling this way if I didn't handle life wrong?  I must have done it wrong or else it wouldn't hurt.")  The pain is just empathy from that moment and once the moment is over it is ok to let it go.  If they aren't feeling it anymore you shouldn't be either.  

The definition of an empath is this

 "(chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual."

I'm prepared to argue that the word isn't just a concept written for entertainment purposes in science fiction novels.  I believe there are people who can relate to what another person is going through so deeply that it has a lasting affect or deeply impacts them in a permanent way and living a lifetime this way can almost lead to effects similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I also think that the better your memory is the harder it is to leave these empathetic memories behind.  Trying to process your own life issues and everyone else's too is a lot to handle.  

The only advice I can give you is this...

if you can at least be aware in the moment of your pain that you are in fact just in the moment and are feeling the echo of old suffering you are headed in the right direction.  It is ok to feel the pain, but just remind yourself that this is old pain and it is ok to let it go.  Feel it, have an awareness of it, allow it to subside, and then breathe it out and allow it to leave.  I think just feeling ok about letting it go is the most important part.  We almost sentence ourselves to continue carrying it don't we?  It's like "I don't know why I'm feeling it so I must have done something to deserve it so because I take my punishments seriously I should really roll around with it and make it count because I must have earned it."  Once you realize that it wasn't earned and is just a sort of residue that has attached itself to you then you will find it much easier to let go.

It will take a while to not constantly remember how I know the munchkin felt today as her awareness matured, but I am equipped to make sure she doesn't carry one little bad day with her for the rest of her life and I am able to allow myself not to carry it with me either.  Your example might be different than mine, but whatever it is, you don't have to carry it either.  Put it down.  Who cares if there isn't a box to put it into that fits perfectly.  Just put it down and walk forward and breathe in the air of a fresh new day.

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 21 - Perfectionism Can Be Paralyzing

Sorry to my loyal readers for the lack of posts at the end of last week.  I took a very needed mini vacation.  I would have prepared you for it ahead of time, but you really have to be careful about announcing to the world when you will be out of town.  There are crazies out there who might decide to take advantage of your absence or follow you to where you are going.  I decided to just not say anything and assumed that you are all evolved enough to forgive me once I explained myself when I returned.

Writing for me is a huge part of my spiritual journey in life.  Everyone has their own "thing" that helps them decompress, let off steam, get out the bad stuff and move on, or whatever else their "thing" might do to heal/help/express their soul.  I hated writing as a kid mainly because you were always told what you were supposed to write about.  Writing only works for me when I feel inspired.  The words just flow for me then.  I'm not a particularly great writer.  Sometimes I use punctuation and sometimes I just don't feel like it.  Sometimes I type or spell words wrong.  I excel at proofreading someone else's work, but am terrible at proofreading my own, so half of the time I don't even bother much more than a quick skim just to catch the obvious errors.  

I've always felt it was a good idea to keep a journal but typically only wrote in mine when life had reached such a boiling point that I had to get all the negative out in one big negative word vomit in order to free myself of it and get on with things.  I found it hard to journal other times because if it wasn't a particularly eventful day there really just wasn't anything I felt like writing down.  Then other times when I would have these positive bursts of inspiration it didn't make any sense to write them in my journal because to me it feels more like "God's message" coming through me and is completely wasted in a journal that even I might never read.  I think a lot of bloggers or authors who write daily devotional type books probably feel similar to myself.  I write here because even if only one other person on the planet ever stumbles across it, I find that it is always the exact person who needed to hear exactly what I wrote at that exact moment in their life.

This morning I was a bit conflicted about what to write because I was feeling very inspired to write about why I write which might inspire someone else to find their own outlet or form of self-expression, but I also have this topic that was on my mind last week that just kept pushing its way back into my consciousness over and over again this morning because it is a topic that really resonates with me and I think could help a lot of people.  Ultimately I decided to try and figure out a way to make them both work.  After all, they wouldn't both be in this complicated brain of mine at the same time if God didn't want me to cover both right?  So, this is my attempt to do that.

Last week I was listening to a podcast by Chalene Johnson that had to do with being an entrepreneur and was talking about how successful entrepreneurs fail over and over and over again before they hit on what works.  It is just a part of the process that they repeat time and time again as they create more and more successful ventures over time.  It's interesting to me because over the years I've found that when you are talking with other people and you say something like "that could be our billion dollar idea" or "your family should get together and start a business doing that" or whatever the statement in the moment might be the response always goes something like this "yes but then we would have to do such and such and you have to find someone who can do so and so and you have to figure out how and where to do whatever and whatever", etc. and before you know it they have laid out a million reasons why they will just continue to live right exactly where they already are in life even if they hate it because even in a conversation that really was just meant to be for fun they have already expressed that a fear of failure or challenges has them stuck.  

I've realized that I don't really know any truly successful entrepreneurs because entrepreneurs tend to spend their time with other entrepreneurs and worker bees tend to spend their time with other worker bees and if you were born into a worker bee environment it is extremely hard to break out of that environment and into the world of extremely successful people because you were never taught to be where they are.  It is even more hard to bring your worker bees along with you on the ride and even harder to keep them from trying to pull you back.  Their fear of trying something new often extends into a fear for you as you try something new.  In my search for successful entrepreneurial mentors I've had to resort to using the internet to try and find and absorb as much information and energy as these people have been willing to share publicly because I haven't been able to find them in my real world.  It really is an entirely different world that they live in with an entirely different language full of insider secrets that make them more successful that many times feels completely over my head because no one in my world talks about these things or has examples or stories to tell about these things because no one in my world has ever tried or probably would ever try to delve into them because the fear and sense of risk is too high.  Anyway, my search is what brought me to this podcast to begin with.  

In the podcast Chalene brought up a topic that I have thought about in so many different ways at so many different times and for so many different reasons over the years.  She presented it as part of the discussion that if you want to be successful at starting a business (or at just about anything in life) you have to get past your fears and just try things knowing that many of them will fail and that failure is just part of the process.  

She was talking about how so many of the smartest people on this planet are so stuck because they want to get it perfect.  Part of what she discussed and what I want to discuss right now is this...

Overly critical parents breed perfectionist children who evolve into adults who are paralyzed and trapped by their own fear of failing.  

How many of you can relate to any part of what I just said?  You have great ideas but are afraid to try them or anything else new whether it be a sport or what-have-you because failure is not an option.  You just stick to what you already know you are good at even if you hate it and that's it.  Or maybe you used to be that person who had to get everything right and always be right and always be in charge of everything and everything must be perfect and you were so overwhelmed and unhappy and had to swim around at rock bottom for years before you slowly started to fight your way out of it but the struggle is still real and still every part of every day for you.  Or maybe you have all of those super posed super perfect family photos on Facebook right now where you are wearing the right thing and your hair is perfect and even your children look perfect and you are at that perfect destination because you can afford it because you and your perfect spouse both have the perfect jobs and it all looks perfect except for the pain that we all can see in your eyes just above your perfect smile full of perfect teeth if we really stop to look because at any minute the house of cards could come crumbling down around you and you live every moment in fear of it.  Maybe you are married to that overtly critical person who demands perfection from your children and you because their parents demanded it from them and not getting things right immediately is not acceptable because it wasn't allowed when they were growing up either.  Maybe you are the critical parent who is catching yourself yelling at your child when they spilled the milk or when they throw the ball and it accidentally hits the car or they say "Hey Mom look!" and try to show you something they are trying to figure out and then something goes awry or makes a mess or whatever and you immediately yell and then suddenly their smile dies and their bright eyes glaze over with a dullness that is their pain and a bit of their soul suffering and the joy and excitement they just had about showing you something has instantly been converted to pain and failure and the understanding that you feel disappointment related to them.  Then over time you realize that when you say something to them like "come over here and try this" (whatever new thing "this" happens to be) that they don't want to and pretty much never want to anymore because now they are afraid to try something new because they have learned that if they do it wrong the first time there will be negative consequences and you don't even realize that you did that to them.

Now the idea here is not to make anyone feel like a failure or a horrible parent or to feel shame or guilt about what is already done because you can't go back in time and change it anyway.  The idea here is to just breed some awareness in you so you can catch yourself when your are doing it and choose to react differently next time.  OR if you happen to be the person frozen and trapped by fear of trying something new to realize how you became this way and that it is ok to let that fear of failing go.  It's ok to mess something new up a lot because each time you will learn a little more and a little more until you eventually get it right.

So there was my attempt at covering both topics in one post.  How did I do?  I'm not sure, but what I do know is even if it isn't perfect I at least tried it and trying isn't failing.  Trying and failing isn't failing either.  Not trying at all is failing so with that in mind I believe it was a success and if I ever decide to try it a second time I will be even better at it because I will have learned from this first time.

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 17 - #TBT And Laundry Organization

Sorry for the complete lack of post yesterday.  Some days there just isn't anything that I feel super inspired by and while I could tell you all about how I brushed my teeth and how many times I went to the restroom I'd imagine it would be about as interesting as no post as all, so I just went with no post.

Today is #TBT so in the spirit of things here is my contribution.    

Bonus points if you were familiar with that one already!

So, a while back I mentioned that I would break down my laundry organizational habits for you.  Might as well do it today.

First I use a 3-bag laundry sorter/hamper just like this one (except the bags on mine are all cream colored).

As the dirty clothes come off I divide them up by the temperature of the water they are supposed to be washed in.  The bag on the right gets all of the cold water laundry (including all bras because I find they last forever of you wash them in cold).  They bag in the middle gets all of the warm water laundry (and all underwear because the warmer water will kill more bacteria than cold water without damaging the fabric by washing them in hot water).  The bag on the left side gets towels and blankets.  Basically anything that should be washed in hot goes in the left side.  (I realize that some people like to conserve energy and wash everything in cold, but I prefer to use water temperatures that ensure the fabrics will last longer OR that is hot enough to kill the bacteria and critters that reside in certain pieces of laundry.)

Then when I am ready to actually do a load of laundry I already know what the temperature of the water should be and from there it is super easy to separate what is in the specific bag into whites, light colors, and darks.  The exception is that my hot loads (the bag on the left) don't get separated by color.  They get separated by "like" purposes.  I tend to wash bath towels and blankets and even pillows together (because they get fabric softener).  I wash dishtowels together (because I don't want any funky food particles or mold or mildew that might be hiding in a used dishcloth mixed with my washcloths that I will be scrubbing my face with).  I wash cleaning rags together (because I don't want harsh cleaning chemicals like bleach or rust and limescale remover to possibly discolor my nice bathroom towels).  

You know that I normally do one load per day.  If I have laundry for more than one person it might mean a second round of the same load (for ex: I would wash my cold water whites and then do a second load of my child and my husband's cold water whites combined) or a second load of bath towels every day if I had guests.  

I used to wash all three loads of colds in a row, then all three warms, then towels over a period of about a week, but I actually found that because I hang my clean clothes at the back of my closet and continually rotate through my clothes (I refuse to own clothes that I never wear and this process ensures that I am forced to put everything to good use) doing my laundry this way meant that the exact same items were getting hung back up in pretty much the exact same order every time which was making my outfit selections too repetitive and my chore life boring.

Sooooooooooo

here is what I do now...

stay with me here...

Just for example's sake let's just say that I'm starting with a cold water load.  So I grab the first item out of the bag on the right and let's just say it is a white item.  So I take the items out one at a time so I don't miss any white items and socks stay together and nothing hides in a pant leg or anything like that.  I put the whites in a hamper and just start piling the rest one on top of the other on the floor or wherever.  I'm washing whites.  

Then let's just say that the last item I pull out is a dark.  So as I start to put the "non-white" items back in the hamper I put the darks in a hamper and the only items that end up back in the hamper are light colors.  The darks get washed tomorrow.

Then the third day I do the same thing with the warm water items in the middle bag.  Whatever color is on top gets washed first and whatever color is on the bottom gets washed the next day and whatever color is left goes back in the hamper.

Then I do the same with the items in the hot water bag on the left.

After that is done I start over with the cold water bag again and since we know that what was left in the bag the last time was light colors I start with those and the process begins again.  

It's a bit detailed I know, but it really works for me.  All the laundry gets done and the never ending piles are maintained, but my closet never ends up stale and boring since I don't do it in the EXACT same order every single time.  It makes mixing and matching your wardrobe that much more fun and I would suggest it if the process of making things organized is fun to you, but you don't want life to be too repetitive.  It is the laundry version of color coding your planner or of alphabetizing your DVD's.  It also still works if you like your closet to be organized by color which I go through phases with (while still rotating the items so everything gets worn).

If you don't really have a plan or if you have a plan that you are bored with then give it a try.  Sometimes we just need to change things up in order to keep chores interesting.

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 15

I am reading a book that is a collection of short stories from various writers that are all in some way a story about modern day suburban witches. 

  It is a book that if I asked a collective group of people to hunt down and read together would probably not generate much excitement aside from having a witch theme leading into fall and Halloween because it is very random no matter how you look at it.  It is a random book that most people have never heard of edited by a person most people have probably never heard of with a cover that while I find interesting is almost generic in nature.  It is filled with stories written by authors that most people probably have not ever heard of and just by the nature of it being a collection of short stories is random in that the stories all stand alone and are not at all related other than by this one theme insisting that it must include the idea of witches regardless of how that word might be defined from author to author which invokes an entire conundrum of randomness within itself just by design.  It is the kind of book that you would expect to see in a box at a garage sale that has been pulled from someone’s basement stuck down in between a whole slew of generic romance novels and one or two cookbooks published by Better Homes and Gardens back in 1978 and possibly one outdated Weight Watchers guide book from 1987 (probably titled something like “The ABC’s of Eating Out”) that tells you how to know what foods to choose from fast food restaurants that either don’t exist anymore or if they do no longer sell the items listed in the guide and includes a slot where a cassette tape used to reside so you could inspire yourself into making those “right” choices on the drive to the restaurant.  This is the kind of book that you would likely flip right past in that box and never see anywhere else in your life ever again even if you are an avid book hunter.

The first story in this book was weak and boring at best and the kind of story that makes you think if THIS was the story that the publisher thought was a strong lead in and would suck the reader into continuing on with the book then this is going to be much worse than I thought because it was so boring it makes even the word boring sound exciting.

The second story in the book was a bit more interesting but still kind of missed the mark.  It at least had a little bit of excitement but it was also a little too ridiculous and although the character development itself wasn’t necessarily weak the actual character WAS weak and while you understood how you were SUPPOSED to relate to him and his bumbling ways and the predicament he was in you never really were able to.

The third story finally started to hit the mark.  It was cute.  It had magic that we want from a story about witches.  It even referred to two cult favorite TV shows, one of my personal favorites Charmed and another that I know many of my readers are dedicated to Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a way that was a respectful nod to the people who love this type of genre and made you think “ok, now we are talking.”  It is the first story that actually reaches what was likely intended to be the target demographic  (or at least a large portion of it) when the book was actually published.  What jumped out at me from this story though almost as a side note and is the whole reason I am telling you about this book now was this concept within the story that whatever you do to someone else comes back and is done to you as well.  In the story it boiled down to teaching youngsters the lesson that if you try to harm someone else in some way you should expect that harm to come back to you as bad and possibly even worse in order to instill in them a sense of fear to keep them from ever doing it in the first place and also a sense of respect for the person that they intended to harm or those that might also be harmed in the process as a sort of collateral damage.

Anyway, I then find myself thinking about something else that I then heard a rector tell in a podcast where when he was younger he met Martin Luther King Jr. who said to him that when someone is the victim of an act of racism or any other type of victimization that there are actually two victims in the scenario.  Both the victim and the perpetrator suffer from the act because evil makes us all its victim in the long run and while the victim suffers from the consequences that we are all aware of the consequences that the perpetrator  will and already is enduring could be far greater whether we have sympathy for them or not.  He was conveying the idea that if the perpetrator were not already suffering he would not be able to complete this horrible act against another in the first place.

So, this is twice within about a 2 hour timespan that this concept has been conveyed to me through two completely different mediums.  It’s the same message presented in two different mediums in two different formats surrounded by two different stories told from two different angles that if you aren’t able to connect the dots could easily be missed.  Thankfully I was in a space of awareness to receive it.

Now, If you are a regular reader of mine then you are either already participating in or have at least thought about or are talking yourself into the 30 Day Challenge.  (Today is the halfway mark!  Can you believe it?  Definitely is slowing the passing of time for me.)  All of us involved are changing our life in some way.  It might be spiritual.  It might be health related.  It might be financial.  It might be related to relationships.  Your journey could be about any number of things and since we are just beginning and by the simple nature of the challenge itself and how we break down our long term goals into such minimalistic actionable steps (mine being to cut out one can of soda from my diet per day) in order to ensure the likeliness that we can successfully achieve them it is easy to forget that this one little actionable step you are taking which might seem silly or superficial or too simple to focus on for 30 straight days is part of a much bigger picture which lies within the core of who you are as a being on this planet.  It is a meager step in the larger goal of living in a way that is true to your inner spirit.  It is a step in this journey we take called life where we are born pure and connected and then suffer and then from that suffering work to awaken and live consciously connected again, re-learning to be present in and appreciate each moment in order to become one with the universe in a way that we never could before and live the life that we were always meant to live and that has been there for us the entire time if only we had taken the time to be present to see it.  

This idea that what we put out into the universe, good or bad, comes back to us in spades is one that resonates throughout different spiritual teachings, different scientific teachings, different moral and ethical teachings,  different cultures, and even shows up in a random book filled with random stories written by random authors about witches that one random person (that would be me) just happens to read at just the right time to receive it and who just happens to write these messages in this little blog with the hopes that they will reach even just one other random person (that would be you) at just the right time to receive it.  Suddenly what become clear is that all of this randomness isn’t random at all.  It is a testament to the idea that when your eyes are open and you are ready the messages that are already out there waiting for you become so clear.  What you put out you will eventually get back.  Awaken to the idea of working towards becoming your true self and eventually you will find you are living true to yourself.  Open your heart and your mind to growth and you will grow.  In that growth you help others to grow through example.  It is all connected.  We are all connected.  When your spirit is shut off from the universe you feel isolated and alone and unhappy and maybe even angry or anxious.  When you awaken your mind and your spirit the universal connectedness reveals itself.  It was there all along waiting for you to be present and see it.  Put out what you want to get back.  Be present yourself and you will inspire others.    

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 14 - Praying In Color

Today I was introduced to the idea of praying in color.  It is such an inspiring concept to me that I feel driven to share it with others which is why I am sharing it with you now.  The idea is this… sometimes we don’t really know how to pray.  We don’t know what to say or how to say it.  We don’t know if we are doing it right or not.  We don’t always know who to pray for or even what to ask for or if we are showing our gratitude often enough or not.  The truth is though that you really don’t have to say anything at all unless you want to.  Through the use of color you can express your thoughts and emotions without having to say a word.  

If you already feel completely comfortable with prayer then the use of color can make your time of prayer that much more of an experience that utilizes more of our senses or makes it an ultimately more intensely felt experience.  You do not have to be Christian to use this idea either.  Chances are that even if you aren’t Christian or particularly religious you do believe in some other concept such as do unto others as you would have them do unto you or the Law of Attraction or Karma or the idea that the energy you put out into the world is the energy that comes back to you.  No matter what you believe, starting to put this concept into practice is easy.  Grab your art supplies and try writing the name of the person you want to pray for or attract good energy towards.  Then as you pray or think of them just begin to color in the bare areas on the paper using whatever colors and whatever strokes of the pencil that appeal to you.  An example might be that a member of your family is having trouble finding work.  Maybe you write their name and just start thinking about them in their own office or work environment smiling because they are holding their pay stub that has a much higher rate of pay than they have ever had before from an employer that they love for doing a job that they love.   While you are imagining good things for them you can use blocks of color, doodles, or even writing to express the good feelings and wonderful experience you can imagine is waiting for them.   Use the colors however they speak to you.  You will find that your thoughts are easily expressed this way.    Over time you will have an entire book filled with positive energy, beautiful colors, creative expression, and you might even begin to see how some of these pieces of artwork have come into fruition with time.  If you can find just 5 or 10 minutes every day to quiet your mind, center your thoughts and just allow your creativity to flow and your good thoughts and positive energy ad love to flow along with it you will be amazed at how the universe will show up for you in response.  

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 11 - Written For The Insta-Generation

Bagged some orders.  Werq!

2 videos filmed.  One edited and uploaded.  Score!

Turned on the heat.  Bummer!

Ate some pizza.  Bad!

Need a nap.  Repeat!

30 Day Challenge.  Success!

Nerd Girl Night.  Check!

It's Friday!  Git outta here!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 10 - The Letter People

I woke up this morning at about 9:00 AM and felt exhausted.  My energy levels were completely depleted.  I did a small amount of work just to distract my brain enough so that I could fall back to sleep.  I figured I would sleep for maybe another hour to an hour and a half.

Fast forward

Eyes Open

12:51 PM 

No laundry.  No filming.  No makeup.  No nothing this morning.  It was a quick shower and off to the bank I went.

The thing about having a dysfunctional immune system is that there are more days like this one than not.  Most of the time I don't actually get the sleep in, but I pretty much always feel the way most people do when they are the sickest they have ever been.   Remember that time when you were so sick with the flu and you literally couldn't do anything but sleep?  Maybe you woke up every now and then and were able to stay away for about 20 minutes but 22 and a half of your 24 hours were spent sleeping while your body fought off the illness and worked to repair itself.  That is how it is everyday when you have an overactive immune system.  The amount of energy that is eaten up between your body attacking itself and trying to repair itself whether it needs to or not is astronomical.  The truth is you need more sleep than everyone else because you are always in some phase of illness and/or recovery.  Most of the time you fight it because it doesn't fit the standards that society has placed on us, but sometimes you reach the point where you just can't fight it anymore.  You shouldn't ever fight it really, but unfortunately it isn't recognized as a disability and people just don't understand and who wants to be suffering all the time anyway?  Sometimes you just fight it because you want to pretend you are normal for a little bit and just ignore how bad you always feel.  I'm getting better at listening to my body sometimes and not putting as much pressure on myself but there are always consequences to that and now instead I will suffer the consequences of feeling very very behind.

Oh well.

Sometimes you have to know when not to care.

Today a friend of mine reminded me of a show I love that was very popular when we were kids and that we used to watch in our classroom in the 3rd grade (and I prayed would be on and used to watch when I stayed home from school sick).  

In the spirit of Throw Back Thursday #TBT I think I'll share this little gem I found with you.  Call your kid into the room to watch.  If it was good enough for my generation it is good enough for them too.

How are you doing with your 30 Day Challenge?

Truth!

The sad thing is I still feel like I need more sleep right now.  I jumped up in such a panic because of the time but in a perfect world I should have slept some more.  I'm going to have to film 2 videos tomorrow now instead of one, but I might just need to sleep and not worry about it.  We will see what happens I suppose.  

Have you noticed how sometimes I am anal about punctuation 

and sometimes I just need to leave it out because it annoys me?  

I actually prefer typing linguistically.  

I like my writing to sound the way I think or the way I speak.  I want you to know exactly how it would sound if I were standing in front of you saying the words one friend to another.  Sometimes that means I use punctuation properly and sometimes I don't.  It is an acquired taste.

Well, it's official... I've filled out my 2015 YouTube video planner.  Let's just say

Anyway... that's enough for today.  I'll see you on the flipside!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 9 - Holy Socks and Not Much Else

You know how sometimes you just decide to go get stamps at 6:30 in the morning? 

 No?

Well never mind then.

So the towels are clean.  I pulled out a blush to use that I forgot to bring to show you guys so you will have to wait for the video on Friday.  I also filmed a video of my empties to go up tomorrow.

I'm a little sleepy today.  I almost even forgot to type this blog post because of it, so I have a feeling this might be a short one.  I'm a bit off my game today.  Just need some serious Zzzzzzzz's.  Didn't screw up on my 30 Day Challenge though.  That is on my "get it right no matter what" list.

You know how you have those days where you feel like you can take a breather and just relax a little which means that tomorrow you will discover that you are super behind because even though you were kind of caught up you weren't super duper ahead?  Yeah, I think that is going to be the theme for today and tomorrow.  I really want to get caught up on some YouTube videos regardless though to see what people have to say about some of the things that are out right now.  

I'm itching to get my wardrobe completely swapped out for fall, but I'm waiting because it isn't fall and it will be 80 degrees again on Saturday anyway.  I think I'm just bored with my summer stuff and when most people feel that way they shop, but all I have to do to get interested again is re-arrange my wardrobe because I can make any old think look like something new just with the way that I pair it differently.  I always get asked if such and such that I have on is new and it pretty much never is and is usually an item the person asking has seen on me a million times.

You know how when you were a kid and got a hole in your sock it meant you got to try and talk an adult into helping you make a sock puppet with the other one?  Then you became a young adult and a hole in the sock meant you threw both socks away and took the excuse to buy new ones.  Then you get a little older and think about re-purposing the sock into things like sock buns but most of the time probably don't.  Then you get older and a hole in the sock means you take the other sock and pair it with any other lone sock and suddenly you have a brand spankin' new pair of "boot socks".  Comment below if your socks in the winter time pretty much never match.  You know it's true.  Let's face it, sock matching sessions kill brain cells.  Anyway, today I found a sock with a hole in it and I'm fine with it.

Well, since I don't really have much to tell you about today (or just don't have the brain power to convey it) I guess I'll end with a joke.

See you on the flipside!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 8 - Conversations With Santa

So obviously last night I did laundry (darks in warm water).  Tonight will be towels and blankets and such.  The only 2 loads I haven't told you about yet are colors in both cold and warm water and those will both happen next week.  Maybe one of these days I should just write about how I manage my laundry.  Would that interest you?  Comment below and tell me.  What would my organization friends like to see?

Today I left early for the grocery.  I needed the essentials for my 2 cats.  I also am getting back into spending more time in the stores because the holidays are a-comin'.  Of course you know I am basically done with my holiday shopping, but you see...  Santa and I are tight!  I am pretty much his personal consultant.  He is non-stop up in my ear with "Shannon, what is the perfect gift for little Janie?" and "Shannon, 11 year old girl alert!  She hates toys and she hates clothes!  Help!" and "Shannon, little Tommy likes to play dress up!  They don't have dress up clothes for boys at Christmas time.  What do I do?!?  Help me!"  and "Shannon, is that fungus under my toenail?  I think I'm not letting my socks dry out enough before I go back out into the snow.  Is there a cream or something for that?"  

Ick!  Why does he does that to me?!?

Anyway, you get the idea.  It is important for me to know what is out there, where to get it, and how much it will cost.

I shopped my stash today and pulled out a Baked Matte Satin Eye Shadow by Lorac in the color Drama.

More on that on Friday in my Weekly Favorites video.

So, we have finished our first week of our 30 Day Challenge!  What an accomplishment!  Time normally goes by so quickly.  It's amazing how focusing on making a change can make time slllllllllloooooooooowwwwwwwww down.  For many of us this has been the longest week EVER.  That's ok.  Part of feeling happiness and satisfaction is being more present in the moment and having an awareness of time.  Remember when you were a child and you had those moments of such extreme boredom that you thought it might possibly kill you?  On the other hand you also experienced such excitement and happiness at times with butterflies in the stomach and laughter so intense you almost couldn't catch your breath and your side cramped.  Remember those times?

Some of you might have noticed that you suddenly were making better choices during the week that had nothing to do with your current actionable step.  It's amazing how feeling good in one area can influence your life in other areas.  

Some of you barely made it through the week.  That is ok too.  Part of the reason we are focusing on this one actionable step for 30 days is because it can be so hard to do.  By the end of the 30 days and it becomes much more of a habit it will be easier I promise.  Even if it doesn't because let's be honest, some battles just never get any easier, know that those successes are the ones you will feel the most proud about in the long run.  

We have 3 more weeks to go.  How are you doing?

I'll see you tomorrow.  Super Soul Sunday is back on and I'm already two episodes behind.  See you on the flipside!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 6 & 7 - Want To See My Package?

Days 5 & 6 of my 30 Day Challenge were a success!  If you haven't started the challenge then click the link and get started.  Every day is a new opportunity to improve your life.

Every other Sunday is technically supposed to be my day off, but it never REALLY works out that way.  I filmed and edited a video for today (my Birthday Haul).  I also am completely done with my Christmas shopping aside from a few odds and ends that you can't ever really get until the holiday shopping season is in full swing.    I even squeezed in a little Bengals Football and BW3 spicy garlic wing sauce because I do have to eat at least once in a day.  I stayed up late to do the bits and bobs that I normally have been doing in the morning.  I'm a night person and I'm experimenting with just doing that stuff at night after work and sleeping later into the morning since that is what comes naturally to me anyhow.  So I started my laundry at about 1:00 AM (whites in warm water) and flip flopped my day by turning my morning chores into my... well... into my MORNING chores.

Today I started at about 9:00 AM and filmed another video.  It seems a bit strange starting my day backwards.  It's harder to sort out what I'm going to tell you about when a lot of it I won't even be getting to until later.  I did get an unexpected package in the mail which is always exciting.  I guess I should say I knew I was getting it, but had kind of forgotten about it because so much time has passed since I was notified, but it finally showed up and was more awesome than I expected.  I'll be posting pictures on my social media so make sure you follow me there to see.  I'll give you a hint...

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

I have other blogs that I write along with this one, so I had some work to do for one of those.  I'd refer you to it, but it is more of a local thing and wouldn't be very relevant for most of my Originalslushey readers.

I decided to watch I'm Fine, Thanks.  It's a "documentary" about a guy who wanted to leave his work life and chase his dream of being a filmmaker that I heard about from a podcast I listened to.  It tells the story of individuals who found themselves on a path in life that made them dead inside.  It's meant to inspire people to go after the dreams they buried in order to be responsible or at least to show how people that feel stuck and unfulfilled got there and how they are everywhere.  You might be one of those people.  The most important part that you should not miss before you make some drastic decision is when he explains how he had access to an entire team of people who were already successfully established in all of the fields that he needed in order to make his adventure successful.  Most of us don't have that.

What makes me curious is why did we not hear these stories from generations before us?  Were they just happier in life than we are or were our expectations set too high from the start?  Has life gotten harder?  Maybe.  It certainly isn't getting any more simple.  Are we expected to do more in all facets of life than they were?  I wish my grandparents were still alive to ask that question of.  Maybe the pressure to be happy is just higher.  How would that be for irony?  I don't know what the answer is, but I know the more simple my life is the happier I tend to feel.  Don't get me wrong, I have big dreams but there are things I enjoy doing and I make time to do some of them even when there are some that I can't do now for one reason or another.  I enjoy doing some things methodically.  It's how I found this film and from this film I will jot down some notes and find some other things to watch or learn from.  I take a little something from everything I interact with even though I won't be taking any hugely drastic steps to turn my life completely upside down.  Some people might tell you that I've already been there done that and am doing it right now.  Anyway, I will watch it once for effect and then I will watch it again soon in order to jot down a few notes for future methodical activities.  I already have an intrinsic focus on improving life every single day just one day at a time and doing the little things keeps anxieties from life pressures at arms length.  (Yes.  That is a reference to the 30 Day Challenge.  If you haven't started it yet what are you waiting for?  I want you to tell me in the comments.)  It is ironic though that the creator of this documentary is also from Ohio.  Maybe the struggle for people in Ohio is legit.  I believe location can sometimes matter.  Anyway if you don't want to watch the video for free with ads you can pay for it for $5.  No I'm not affiliated, so it's just your choice.  

Well, that's enough for today,  I have laundry to do.  I'll see you on the flipside!

My Day In A Nutshell - 30 Day Challenge Day 5

I woke up this morning basically because I needed a potty break.  I'm not sure what time I fell asleep but I know I shut off my podcasts at about 5:00 AM.  When I woke up I expected it to somewhere between 6:00 and 7:00 AM.  I felt so tired and really didn't want to get up but knew my bladder was going to make me so  I was thinking to myself how good it was going to feel to get it over with and get right back in bed under the covers.  I rolled over to get up and looked at the clock and HOLY COW it was almost 11:00 AM!!!  I was devastated and concerned and shocked all at the same time.  I couldn't believe it was that late!  I blame that part on the drastic weather change we have had recently.  It has been gloomier and much colder and the light that streams in my window and the cool temperatures at 11:00 AM are the same as the light and temperatures of the early morning hours last month.  My perception has not yet caught up to the changing season.  So, I was shocked that it was so late and I was devastated that I was not going to be able to crawl back into bed AND I was concerned.  Concerned because my eyes felt like I haven't slept in weeks and that ALWAYS means I am getting or already am sick.  Now, you all know I have been sick and haven't quite kicked it yet but the state of my eyes this morning had me wondering if I don't have either round 2 or another illness all-together festering in my body and waiting to attack.  Do your eyes feel like they can't open and are sunken in and feel like you haven't slept in weeks when you are getting sick or is that just me?  Tell me in the comments because I really would like to know.  Anyway, now that I am awake I do still feel tired and like I need to let myself get some more sleep, but in general I don't feel horrible.  I still have the same amount of lingering illness hanging on like I did yesterday but all in all I don't have any other obvious indicators of anything bad coming so that's good.

Speaking of commenting... I want to remind everyone that this platform is a form of SOCIAL MEDIA which means you are supposed to be SOCIAL here.  That means you are supposed to ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE here by commenting, liking, sharing, and whatnot and make sure you have subscribed because we are building a family of friends here and if you don't subscribe you will miss out on that.  In fact, if you have a friend that you think would enjoy becoming a part of our family then share this blog with them as well.  It's always more fun to do things together.  Now I do appreciate my faithful readers and love that you enjoy my writing and come back day after day to keep up with the latest but if you don't comment and tell me how you are doing and give me feedback then it becomes a bit more stalker-ish and a bit less social.  I actually want to know who you are and how you are doing and what you are into and even get feedback so PLEASE do not forget to actively participate while you are here.  Getting to know you is super duper important to me!

Day 4 of my 30 Day Challenge went well!  I really wanted a second soda with my dinner but I sucked it up and had a glass of water instead and all is well.  If you are new to this blog feel free to start your own 30 Day Challenge.  Just click where it says 30 Day Challenge and follow the directions on how to start your challenge.  It doesn't matter if you're not on the same day as we are.  What matters is that you start.  By the way, anything you see on my blog in that hot pink color is a link and sometimes the photos are links as well and by clicking on them I take you directly to whatever it is I happen to be talking about so you can enjoy it as well.  I only share the things I am super passionate about in some way so if you enjoy the same hings I do and can relate to my personality then I encourage you to check out the links regularly.  You might find some gems that you didn't know existed and will be able to add one more thing to your own personal "Things That I Enjoy" list.  That is the whole reason I am here in the first place... to help people enjoy life in both big and small ways.  Hopefully I will succeed.

So, I needed to play catch up on my Joel Osteen viewing.  I'm not a huge fan of his and sometimes I just play his show in the background and it doesn't really reach me but every now and then he says something that really resonates with me.  Just by the nature of the programming he can be a controversial figure but if his message reaches you at the exact time that you need it then that is the universe working on your behalf.  Some people love him and some people hate him and most people fall somewhere in between and that middle ground is a pretty good place to be.  No matter how you feel about Joel Osteen and his particular message if you enjoy uplifting spiritual music then I encourage you to try the album called Free To Worship.  

Click the link or the picture and preview the album first and if you enjoy what you hear then download the entire album for $9.99 or purchase individual songs for $.99.  Since it will then be in your iTunes list you can transfer it to a disk to take in your car or add it to your MP3 playlists or even listen to it on your phone, table, desktop, or laptop.  If you are thirsty for inspiration or for your own quiet moments of enjoyment or for just something to fill up your tank then this might be just the thing for you.  Check it out!  It never hurts to try something new.

Next up... the Ohio State vs. Kent St. football game.

GO BUCKEYES! 

I just have to show you this...

A tomboy girly girl's DREAM right?!?

Sorry... fashion distracted.

Anyway...

I'm also about 3 episodes behind on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  There might be a reason for that.  I'm just sayin'...

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

This season is just too fake.  It feels like they are TRYING to do things to be interesting for TV which has the reverse affect for me.

Did you know that there is an album that is called A Tribute To The Real Housewives Of New Jersey?  Talk about a conversation piece!  I had a boyfriend back in the day who used to love lounge singer type music.  It was just his sense of humor.  This isn't lounge singer-y really but I TOTALLY would have bought him this album for realz.  In fact, now I'm trying to think of a party theme just so I can have an excuse to play this album.  What could it be?  Give me some ideas in the comments.

I'm also behind in episodes of The Witches of East End.  It has the same feel for me as Ravenswood did meaning it is so close to being a huge hit, but they are missing the mark by a margin.  If you liked The Secret Circle you might like this.  

That's probably enough for today.  How did you spend your Saturday?  Let me know!  See you on the flipside.